How To Help Children And Youth With Temper Tantrums
Temper tantrums are a normal part of growing up for infants. Without assistance, however, children & youth can develop temper tantrum habits which prevent them from learning to be more effective in getting what they want while getting along with family, friends and community. Having temper tantrums is a natural part of learning to communicate as a human being. It is necessary to know how to be heard and taken seriously. Eventually children & youth learn how to curb temper tantrums. Temper tantrums involve knowing what you want and emotional release. Some children & youth learn to use temper tantrums as ways to power struggle and be in control. Often children & youth learn that sometimes temper tantrums get them what they want by being aware of parental frustration and embarrassment around emotional release. Children & youth can get so self-absorbed and feeling impoverished that they become unaware of the needs of the rest of the family. After early childhood, having temper tantrums can be a sign that consistent assistance is needed in the form of teaching effective communication tools that work better than temper tantrums in getting attention or what they want. Having temper tantrums later in life can be due to and complicated by a number of factors including: family communication patterns; lack of training in parenthood skills; parental insecurity and embarrassment; inconsistent parenting techniques; children feeling they are not listened to; children learning how to get their own way in a family context through emotional release; children trying to get their own way through force; children trying to get attention; children learning how to be in relationship; depression or other mental illnesses; frustration; physical discomfort from unresolved accidents, shocks, traumas and abuses of all kinds; nutritional imbalances; exposure to environmental pollutants.
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First, We Would Investigate |
Second, We Would Investigate |
For Long Term Support |
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On Our Own We Would Try: • Replace sodas, juices, sugars, fats, fast foods with water, veggies, whole grains, nuts, protein, fruit, slow food • Long Walks/Hikes • Bedtime Stories and Chats • Wholesome Pleasures • Back Rubs and Foot Massages • Nature • Pets • Less or No TV, Movies, Video/Computer Games |
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For Parents: • Ignoring temper tantrums is often a good idea. However this can be hard to do–especially if your child or youth has learned to have tantrums in inconvient places for the maximum embarrassment/harassment effect–in the middle of busy traffic, social events, etc. • Learning and teaching Nonviolent Communication skills is essential. • Avoiding a strong emotional reaction is also important. Use role play games. Play games of pretending to have temper tantrums. Put on little performances where all family members display their temper tantrum skills. This helps everyone realize how much control children, youth and adults have and how temper tantrums are attempts at controlling situations, while releasing emotional frustration in ineffective ways. • Use role playing games to teach effective ways of communication when frustrated. • Family role playing of having temper tantrums can reduce the emotional charges and show the child or youth that they are rather silly when tantruming. • Get support from friends and from professionals who know about temper tantrums. • Find Parenting classes through your local school, public health office or religious organizations. • The Internet also contains lots of information on what to do about temper tantrums. • Seek out books in libraries and bookstores that fit for your family. |