How To Help Children And Youth That Are Unsocial
Prefers To Avoid Social Contact; Likes To Create Social Challenges
Without help, both of these types of unsocial behavior can become habitual and can ruin living and learning well into adulthood. Some children & youth are shy and retiring because they are intelligent, sensitive and deeply care about what is happening. However, they often feel unable to stop the suffering or chaos they perceive. Others feel angry, scared, fearful, hurt, insufficient, unsuccessful and lonely. They get social contact through bullying, bothering and harassing others. These patterns can be caused by, and complicated by a wide range of factors which can include: lack of communication and challenge-solving skills; family patterns; perceptual challenges; genetics; anxiety; low self-esteem; physical and emotional discomfort caused by unhealed accidents, traumas and abuses of all kinds; depression or other mental illnesses; inability to relax; nutritional imbalances; exposure to environmental pollutants.
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First, We Would Investigate |
Second, We Would Investigate |
For Long Term Support |
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On Our Own We Would Try: • Replace sodas, juices, sugars, fats, fast foods with water, veggies, whole grains, nuts, protein, fruit, slow food • Long Walks/Hikes • Bedtime Stories and Chats • Wholesome Pleasures • Back Rubs and Foot Massages • Nature • Pets • Less or No TV, Movies, Video/Computer Games |
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For Parents: • Get medical and psychological evaluations. • Get professional help. • Learning and teaching Nonviolent Communication skills is essential. • Avoiding strong emotional reaction is also important. Use role play games. Playing games of pretending to be unsocial. Have fun with this without mimicking or making fun of the child or youth. Put on little performances where all family members display their unsocial skills. This helps everyone realize how much control children, youth and adults have and how unsocial behaviors are attempts at controlling situations while releasing emotional frustration in ineffective ways. • Use role playing games to teach effective ways of communication when frustrated, angry, worried, frightened, or lonely. • Family role playing of being unsocial can reduce the emotional charges and show the children or youth that they are rather silly being unsocial. • Get support from friends and from professionals who know about unsocial behavior. • Find Parenting classes through your local school, public health office or religious organizations. • The Internet also contains lots of information on what to do about unsocial behavior. • Seek out books in libraries and bookstores that fit for your family. • Often children & youth can learn social skills by being involved with younger children. • Nonviolent Communication skills can make a big difference. |
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Check out: www.KidsHealth.org; National Mental Health Information Center, www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/15plus/aboutbullying.asp. |