How To Help Children And Youth Affected By Parental Fighting, Arguing And Family Unhappiness
Frequent, Ongoing Problems At Home
Without assistance for both children & youth and their parents, this sort of thing can slow learning and teach patterns that can last into adulthood. Without assistance, children & youth tend to copy their family patterns when they grow up. Children & youth learn to be both bullies, victims and unsuccessful communicators. They are stopped from learning how to effectively get what they need. Children & youth are hurt emotionally, socially, physically and spiritually when their parents are continually arguing, fighting or are unhappy. When parents argue/fight and show unhappiness, the children or youth get frightened because they can’t help their parents. This fear takes energy away from living, growing and learning. Children & youth exposed to frequent parental fighting can become anxious and/or depressed. Parents who often argue or physically fight show their unhappiness these ways for a number of reasons including: being exhausted, frightened, lonely and needing energy; trying to get their own way; copying patterns learned in childhood during the parents’ own childhoods; poor role models for being parents; lack of self awareness; lack of communication training; prolonged depression/anxiety or other mental illness; addictions; financial stresses; low self-esteem; nutritional imbalances; exposure to environmental pollutants. Such parents often have been bullied and victimized themselves, so that they cannot even imagine seeking professional or spiritual help to learn new ways of handling stress and communicating needs. Such parents are often unaware of the pain they cause their children or youth.
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First, We Would Investigate |
Second, We Would Investigate |
For Long Term Support |
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For Parents:
For Children & Youth:
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For the Whole Family:
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For the Whole Family:
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On Our Own We Would Try: • Wholesome Pleasures • Bedtime Stories and Chats • Back Rubs and Foot Massages • Replace sodas, juices, sugars, fats, fast foods with water, veggies, whole grains, nuts, protein, fruit, slow food • Long Walks/Hikes • Nature • Pets • Less or No TV, Movies, Video/Computer Games |
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For Parents: • This is an important family pattern for you to change. If you can’t change this pattern, your children or youth will have to or they will pass it on to your grandchildren. • Find other parents who have the same challenge and support each other in protecting your children or youth by freeing yourselves from fighting habits. • Learn some alternative methods of expression and problem solving. • Focus on the love you have for your children or youth to give you courage to get over your fears of changing these patterns. • Healing this pattern of fighting/arguing can often involve remembering painful events from your own childhood. Don’t try to do this change alone. • Get some assistance or at least some company of people who also want to change. |