How To Help Children And Youth That Are Ashamed, Blamed, Suffering Debilitating Guilt
About What Has Been Done; About Feeling Worthless; About Shame For Being Alive
Feeling guilty or ashamed a little is pretty natural–like regret. Feeling ashamed a great deal can be both physically and psychologically painful and disabling. It can slow learning. Unchecked, shame can destroy confidence and success in later life. It can make children & youth very fearful of attempting anything. Shame is learned. It can be due to a combination of: clumsy attempts at control; exposure to a lack of compassion and forgiveness; being blamed or teased; unskilled guidance by ashamed parents, family, friends, teachers and other professionals; unresolved traumas or disfigurements; having apparent difficulties; poverty; racism; uncertain gender identification; sexual orientation; learning challenges; communication difficulties; emotions--expressed and unexpressed; abuse of all kinds including spiritual abuse. Shame can be made more confusing by nutritional imbalances and exposure to environmental pollutants.
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First, We Would Investigate |
Second, We Would Investigate |
For Long Term Support |
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On Our Own We Would Try: • Bedtime Stories and Chats • Wholesome Pleasures • Replace sodas, juices, sugars, fats, fast foods with water veggies, whole grains, protein, fruit, slow food • Back Rubs and Foot Massage • Long Walks/Hikes • Nature • Faith and Hope • Pets • No or Less TV |
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For Parents: • It is very important for the family to learn how to effectively give support, acknowledge each other, forgive self and others and to have compassion. • Investigate over the counter at health food stores: Bach Flower Essence remedies including: Crabapple for shame and self hatred; Larch for lack of self-confidence; Pine for self reproach/guilt; and Rescue Remedy for general well-being. |
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Check out: www.MedLinePlus.gov; www.KidsHealth.org; www.traumasoma.com/index.shtml (very technical); www.acestudy.org. |